Saturday, October 15, 2011

I don't like writing sad posts but I came across one the other day who had lost her mom and it just brought back a flood of memories.

So no sadness here but just a moment of shared memories.

(Cadey, Hayley and my daddy 1997)
It's been 12 years today that I lost the man I called my dad.  We don't share the same eyes, hair color, height, nose nor blood but most importantly we shared love, happiness and family.

He loved me like his own and honestly I never thought any different.  I have a biological mom and dad out there somewhere but I never really think about being adopted until someone mentions it.  I had a wonderful life with wonderful parents and was/am extremely blessed. 

I love hearing about adoption stories because mine turned out so wonderful. 
(Daddy and my Hayley 16 years ago)

My dad passed away while I was pregnant with Katrina and he was hoping I would be bringing a boy into this world.  That didn't come until a few years later and we gave Bubba (Jackson Wyatt Wayne Wilkerson) a piece of daddy's name :)

(Daddy and Hayley 1994)
  My mom misses him every day.  They were first and only loves.  She tells how she left her mommas side and straight to my daddy arms for almost 30 years.  She stays true to their marriage and memories and still loves him to this day.  

(Hayley, Cadey and Daddy 1994)
  I just felt it needed to be spoken about what a wonderful man, husband, father, grandpa and most importantly child of God, Douglas Wayne Culbertson was and still is in our hearts.  

Anyway, no sadness but lots of really great memories.  

Many blessings y'all,

Friday, April 8, 2011


Hey ya'll...this is just a little write-up for my daughters birthday today in hopes that in between her busy teenage schedule she'll take a moment to read :)
Have a great day ya'll!

May Hayhay....that's what we call my you....Hayhay.
See the little kids in day care would try to say Hayley and it came out Hayhay.  17 years......only 388 more days till you're 18....that's your countdown and such a definite one at that.  You text me often to remind me how many days are left....we both understand why 18 is so important to you. 
I remember the day I went to the hospital to have you.  We got up and left the house at like 4:30 in the morning.  Went to the hospital, got prepped and of to the OR I go.  They wouldn't let anyone in the room with me, not even your daddy and I didn't get to see you when you came out.  I had trouble regaining the feeling back after the epidural and spent 5 hours in recovery before they took me to a room.  When they finally brought you into the room, your daddy had brought Cadey in the room to see you.  She had on a new polka dot dress and was so excited.  The nurse asked her if she wanted to hold her little sister and she said Yeah! She was the first one out of all of us to get to hold you!  So no matter what you two think about each other now and over the years, she really loves you and loved you the first moment she saw we all do :)
I've missed a lot of your daily life and many of your ups and downs and although many don't see it, it does tear at my heart every day.  That's the past and is something that can't be changed.....only repaired. 

I'm looking forward to seeing you grow in this next year.  I know most parents don't look forward to their children turning 18 and going off to college but I'm excited and happy for you and can't wait to watch you
 begin your senior year, senior homecoming game, spring break, 18th birthday, senior prom and graduation!
So many exciting times ahead and many memories to make.

Well Hayley, If you ever have a moment to read this I just want you to know how much I love you and how proud of you I am.  You have a mindset and determination that I admire.  I only want you to enjoy life and find something you want and love to do but most of all I want you to know that i'll always be here for you.  You'll always have a home to come to, a lake to swim in and b-b-q nachos are only one call away :)
Much love and happy birthday!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

~Katrina Katrina~

Ah Katrina....
No not hurricane Katrina, although she can very well make her room resemble a hurricane.  My Katrina came a few years before the Hurricane Katrina tragedy.  She could never be know as anything tragic. 

It's been 10 years today when I had Katrina, my 3rd daughter but 1st child with my UPS man :)
I still remember being at the hospital and his face when they gave me an epidural, he almost got sick and they told him to turn around if he felt like he was going to pass out.  All I could think of was what a shame it would be if he messed up his nice clothes.  See he was beaming all morning, didn't even go to sleep the night before.  He had gotten up before me and showered, shaved and dressed in his dress shirt and tie.  All to be prepared to welcome sweet Katrina into the world.  I forgot to mention he picked out her name.

I didn't have a bad pregnancy with Katrina and everyone was more than happy to welcome her into the world.  My daddy was excited and had hoped for a boy for us.  He had found out he had cancer right before we found out we were pregnant.  He then passed away when I was 5 months pregnant.  He would have loved Katrina.  She loves hugs and snuggles and is one of the most caring and kind hearted people I know and daddy loved getting hugs and snuggles and was without a doubt the most kind hearted person I had ever known.

She came into this world and didn't make a sound. Big blue eyes that will still melt your heart.  My UPS man wouldn't put her down and he couldn't stop smiling nor has he quit.  As soon as he saw her he said "this is my little Keke" and so the name stuck.  We still call her Keke or Big-en.  Our friends have a boy a year older than her and he's always called her Ke-kitty.

Keke, Big-en, Ke-kitty, sis or Katrina she'll always be my little girl.  I had mentioned in one of my first blogs about a "year of firsts"  (you can read about it here) and how music brings back thoughts and memories.  One of the songs that is the most meaningful song to me is a song by Dido called "Thank You".  It was playing on the radio while we were bringing Keke home from the hospital.
I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

Ten years has gone by quite fast and unexpectedly I find myself with my youngest daughter now entering the double digit age group.  All too soon it will be cell phones and boys, proms and drivers license.  All too soon it will be college and tests, jobs and life.  And all very, very too soon it will be memories.  Hopefully her memories of a happy childhood and a comfortable home with parents and a family who love her unconditionally. 
So Katrina, If you ever read back on this, I want you to know what a sweet, beautiful and tender-hearted young girl you are.  You've always been a friend to all and enemy to none.  You have such a big heart for those in need and we couldn't be more proud of you.  Your beautiful spirit shines for all to see and I hope and pray that life brings you to many roads with many, many happy moments. 
My love always,

My blogger friends, thank you for indulging me in sharing my memories of a special day for me and my family.
Many blessings,